i absolutely despise college counselling

i've written about this before, how i believe that college counselling dehumanizes those that take part in it. my views haven't changed, but recent events inspired me to once again express my thoughts on this topic.

i quit college counselling sophomore year, but in october/november-ish this year my parents reintroduced the idea of taking part in college counselling to get me through the next couple of months until i submitted my applications. initially, i still wasn't on board due to my negative experiences in the past, but with enough convincing, i gave in.

i began counselling, with a different organization. at first, it seemed to be going okay. but with my first essay revision guidance session, i was immediately reminded of why i hated college counselling. my teacher wanted to change everything, some of it was for the better, but some if it i just absolutely despised.

it felt like he was sucking all of the humanity out of my essays. he wanted to remove everything that made the essay feel like mine. storytelling wasn't allowed. creative liberty wasn't allowed. it was just: follow my format, be very direct and don't use too much flowery language.

i had read many essay examples throughout these past couple of months, and i could not help but notice that none of them followed my teacher's format, despite them being extremely good essays. they felt genuine, they seemed expressive, they felt like people wrote them.

as i reexamined my uc essay document, i mourned how dead and robotic my deconstructed essays were. but i had to follow my teacher's guidelines, right? it broke my heart. everything that was "me" about my essays was gone. this wasn't my essay, it was my college counsellor's essay.

maybe he's right, maybe this is the optimal format. but to me, it sucks the life out of the essay, and attaches everything to a certain formula. and this, this is how i lose my will to write.

once again, college counselling killed my enthusiasm. i knew it. i should've done it alone.