fear

it is currently 2:45 am and i feel really scared for some reason. for a solid five minutes i felt traumatized, struggled to breathe, and i can't seem to put a finger on why.

maybe i'm subconsciously realizing all the time i've been wasting, or maybe it's a direct result of all the stress built up, or maybe it's a manifestation of my guilt.

i used to love staying up at night, now i hate every second i have to be awake. like the midnight hours have held me captive for so long that stockholm syndrome occurred in retrograde.

idk i don't really wanna write too much right now because i'm tired but i just wanted to express this sudden unaccounted for feeling that's been occurring routinely over the past couple of weeks.