Why Everything You Do Is Cringe

In today’s world, cringe is one of the most overused words and I am no innocent bystander to the cringe epidemic. It’s grown into a substitute for so many words, becoming an ever-versatile component of my vocabulary where the recipient of the cringe title is often myself or people I decide to hate on for literally no reason. And when you start saying “cringe,” it starts to mean everything, it becomes your world, it describes anything. But what exactly is cringe?

User ElectroDragon55 on urbandictionary.com defines cringe as “Jake Paul.” Dictionary.com defines cringe as “causing embarrassment or resulting in awkward discomfort.” In essence, cringe is a judgment, a perception of a certain idea that elicits an often uncomfortable response. So how can we as a society uniformly label so many things as cringe?

Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia believes that “if you think the world is way too cringy, it is actually a problem of your mind judging too harshly.” Often, one will misconstrue a situation to believe that it is more “cringe,” than it really is. This is a symptom of a heavy focus on internal thoughts, that rather than being in the moment and having the conversation, you are busy thinking about the conversation. We are often our worst critic. Rather than focusing on whether something is received or not received, exist inside the conversation rather than outside of it.

According to Dr. Kanojia, “cringe is forcing someone into an [unwanted] interaction.” In a situation where the other party has an opportunity to leave, and they choose not to, you are not “being cringe.” What matters is not our perception, but the perception of the other party. When we switch the focus from internal to external we obtain a better judgment of what is cringe. However, it is not necessarily that simple. When we reinforce a judgment for so long, it is difficult to grow out of it. When we see the world as cringe for an extended period of time, it is hard to start seeing it as not cringe.

Dr. Kanojia explains that the remedy is engaging with the uncomfortable in order to gain self-confidence, because most of the time “being cringe,” is objectively not cringe. He describes a very simple, yet potent, solution through three phases of listening to music: jamming out and really feeling the music while in private, then public, and finally doing it with confidence, smiling and making eye contact with everyone who walks past.

Maybe to you phase one is cringe. It certainly was to me. As I pretended I was in a Billie Eilish music video, I felt the cringe coursing through my veins. But I lived, and learned, and recognized that it was actually a bit fun. Maybe after that you may worry about how you look crazy, or how you are doing something so far out of the ordinary. Maybe to you that is cringe. But those who walk past do not just see a lunatic, they see a lunatic having the time of their life, living in the moment. And that is respectable.

Maybe we just think too much. We should all take a step back and embrace the moment. Maybe we just need to be more cringe.

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This was written for the May 2023 edition of IVC's Honors Tribune.